Okay, so with multiple health conditions sometimes I lose track what I am supposed to be paying attention to. It isn’t just that I have MS on the brain right now- I really do- with treatment right on the go right now.
But my body decided to really, really remind me that fibromyalgia is a thing in my life. By flaring up and blaring all over my damn body Here I AM.
Because I finished my move to my new apartment. I had help and used movers because being disabled means I can’t really handle boxes and all of that. Which makes moving incredibly difficult, by the way.
I had some problems pacing with packing but I did pace. I was sore but I figured, this is manageable. Good job! Ish.
I get here, I think, look at all this empty space. This is not a home yet. I need to fill it with things before I feel like this is my Space. So I started at it. And I felt a bit overwhelmed with the task as my brain always does with these things but I just got at it. And once I did, I Really DID.
I paused once and a while. Took a break here and there. Drank my fluids. This felt sufficient to my brain. Look at me- I seem to sort of be pacing this actual difficult task for me.
Not so much. Not even close. I got tired. But sure, it is tiring. I slept like the dead that night but that makes sense.
Fibromyalgia Flare! BOOM
I get up the next day… and my back is killing me. And I step on the ground… and my feet hate me for even touching the ground a little. Both rotator cuffs really did not want to rotate without screaming. I was tender. I was sore. I was tired.
I barely could manage a thing that day aside from setting up the computer. Yay! But exhausted mentally and physically.
Officially in fibro flare zone. And stayed in it for three lovely days. All because my brain was like I should stop now— oh, look, a box of books needs to be put away! Oh no, that simply cannot wait one more second!
And so I reminded myself quite clearly of my fibromyalgia limit. And hit it. And exceeded it. And still feel it actually. Still feeling it.
And when you are flaring, you just do not want to do a damn thing. Your body doesn’t want to even move. Your brain is like pudding. And man was it ever. Everything shuts down for a bit and forces you to rest. I still have things to do- but rest I will now.
I also didn’t take my usual crash and burn nap, which is normal for me in the afternoon and sometimes evening as well. I figure with both FM and MS it is a given now. But I didn’t. And was hit with vertigo and then a migraine. So maybe that is just a thing I need to do to pace myself. My rest and a nap here and there.
Multiple conditions- Multiple considerations
I can’t simply forget migraine disease- which granted, it will never allow me to forget that one ever. Or fibromyalgia which does mask itself quite sneakily under MS most of the time- aside from flaring and pain that is Not MS related at all. But the fatigue is both. And the fibro fog is mostly FM. But I can’t forget to manage it as I usually do because I am in the process of learning how to manage MS. Which has been a challenge and new and always a process of adaptation. With a new medication that is entirely different process than most medications and then with regular bloodwork for that medication- and check ups. And specialists. And so on and so on.
But I have existing conditions. And I know how to manage them as best I can. I can’t let them go all wild because I am trying to adjust to another one. And this definitely demonstrated that clearly. I would maybe have flared anyway. It is hard to pace and pace and pace when moving. Packing, to moving, to unpacking. But I didn’t help the situation.
Chronically Nikki 
Hope your move went well and hope things are getting back to normal. Differently, yes.
Yes, there are lots of questions. Before, during, after…Were there / is there any arrangements to allow you to move despite your physical condition? You must have answered that question.Were there / is there any acceptable sacrifice of your health to make this move and settle in smoothly? You’re currently answering that one.Did you do right? Will you be ok? Will you feel good? Could you have avoided an umpteenth crisis?All these questions exist over time and call for real, pragmatic needs, for this practical necessity of evolving and surviving. These questions are legitimate.But perhaps one of the most fundamental questions to ask yourself, beyond all the moving, the boring paperwork, and all the medical conditions, is how you feel about embracing these changes, how you experience them and, when you experience them, how you adapt to them. In the moment. It’s not always easy to find a rhythm with the surrounding life, but perhaps one of the keys to ease these changes lies there: in the moment. Buddhism learnt us about changes and pain : they will always exist, and slowing down is a luxury in our world, but it is, just like speeding up, one of the mirrors, one of the prisms useful for our integration into the world.
Let’s listen to a japanese zen proverb that says:
Every time you build a bridge between two banks, watch your steps carefully.
Step by step, despite the obstacles, despite life’s pains, find your place in this change, and you will find a new light for each day.Thank you for your contribution.
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Yes, the move and all the health considerations are one thing- the change itself another. I am still adapting. Still getting into a new flow in this place. A new routine. Still a bit out of sorts but establishing myself.
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