Being productive on disability takes on different meaning than when I was working. I have to account for pain, fatigue, vertigo, muscle weakness and my mobility issues.
In order words, productivity takes planning. I plan what I need to do and I figure out how to get it done.
And I do not feel like I get much done. But my body sure does feel like I did. My body says I’m doing a whole lot but my brain says I’m not doing enough at all. And if I measure my productivity against how my body feels, well, I got enough done. My brain on the other hand- wishes I could do a whole lot more.
The Things
I must do the things, I tell myself. In other words, I have a routine of basic necessities every day. Just routine things.
- Get up
- Get dressed- as this makes me feel more alert and ready for the day. On a Saturday or a Sunday I sometimes will stay in PJs but not a weekday.
- Do the hygiene
- Take the medications. And make sure medications in my pill sorter are filled.
- Clean the litter box
- Do the dishes- fill the dishwasher, start it- later put them away.
- Do at least 10-15 minutes of housework- pick something and get it done. Good days get more done but at the minimum do just a little. It goes a long way. Easier now that I’m in an apartment which is easier to maintain. Some things are more taxing than others to clean. And some things take more time.
- Eat
- Take vitamins
- Exercise of some sort (exercise bike or my set exercises, not both. Or a walk) 3 times a week
- Have a bath or shower last because with drop foot, well, it will affect my walking for a bit so it is last on the list.
- Tidy up a little if I see things out of their spot – or do spot washing or a little dusting- just a little bit. This is extra bonus day stuff.
Compromises
Due to muscle fatigue and drop foot leaving the house means a) no exercise day and b) wait for the bath or shower. Because both of those things tax my muscles too much and make it hard to walk far. And a shower really aggravates the drop foot- and I will drag my foot all over the place.
Sometimes I have to wait to do anything if the vertigo decides it is going to really flare up, which it has been in the mornings lately. Usually, it gets worse as the day goes on so the evenings are worse. But some days, that isn’t the case.
Every day, I have to measure it against the pain and fatigue. If it is a severe day, then I may get very little to nothing done. That is a given.
Exercise
At the moment, exercise is 10- 15 minutes on my stationary bike three times a week. Or some physio exercises for my legs. Some days both but that does not tend to work out well for me. That is what I mean by exercise. But it makes me feel very accomplished. Especially since I have worked up to this point. Which doesn’t sound impressive but actually is. I aim to progress. Bit by bit.
Extra
Extra productivity is stuff for myself. It can be reading which is typically difficult with migraines or vertigo and brain fog. So I limit it to short durations. I did art but my hand is messed up again so that has become increasingly difficult to do which really sucks. So I am going to have to figure out a new form or style of art to do.
Then there is writing- blog or creative. Writing is likely the easiest for me right now. Getting into blogging again is helping fill the time and getting my brain going.
All of these forms of productivity help with mental and emotional well-being.
That is that
Honestly, it isn’t much these days. Not much of a social life around here right now. I isolated too much for a while and lost some friends so I do not go out and about. So that’s a problem. And I am pretty tired a lot so I really pace myself.
I’m not going to say it isn’t frustrating to want to do more and not be able to do the more. One reason I started the blog back up is it is a more that I can do. Once I get into the swing of things.
Productive
How do you measure productive when you can do so little? And how do you gain any sense of accomplishment or satisfaction from it?
Well, it isn’t easy. But my measure for the day isn’t the same as someone else’s. So I make my list of things to do and what I accomplish them I get satisfaction I was able to do them– plain and simple. That I just was able to accomplish my list at all. That is a damn good day. Or able to get my exercise in. That makes me feel good (not physically- that hurts like a mothertrucker)-mentally and emotionally.
I want to do more- like run a lot of errands- but that is insanely hard. Working? Impossible if I can barely run a short errand. So productive is on a small measure right now. I’m not using a long ruler on my day. I’m using the small one. And getting maybe one to two inches done. In no way, is my frame of reference the same as someone else’s so in no way is my sense of ‘productive’ the same either.
In no way should I be using my frame of reference and measuring it against someone else’s ruler. And then going Well, I suck. It isn’t even the same reality. I can walk about fifteen minutes before I have trouble. And someone else may take a nice stroll for an hour with ease. In what world are those comparable? Stick to your own ruler when measuring your productivity. Allow yourself to feel good about everything you accomplish in your day. Every damn thing. Every single thing that used energy and pain and taxed you.
But never feel guilty for rest days. No one else does. A day of rest for someone else is a day of rest. Not some guilt fest for what we should be doing. So when we cant function- rest.
Chronically Nikki 