These are some of the things I have thought about that I do with chronic pain. Things I have done and still do to this day. Things I struggle with. Things I cope with and try to continue to cope with.
Compare to others or self
Often we have a concept of self. And it isn’t an ideal self or anything but it is definitely a concept of Self. This is a self that was never chronically ill and didn’t have to deal with chronic pain.
This person that would have indeed achieved Great Things and been Much More Productive. And we compare ourselves to this fictional self in a way that no way reflects our actual reality. We learn to accept this real person is the one that needs to cope, adapt, change and deal with this reality.
Comparing to others also happens because we all strive to improve and then we compare our improvement or lack there of to others.
When we should compare to our own Recent past performance.
Accept Limitations
In the beginning I had a hard to finding my limits. I would find a summer job to work and it would be simply one I could not do. So I would literally suffer through it. Each summer job teaching me what not to do and my limits. We know them by pushing them. Go for a walk? And then find that limit by when the pain starts going up exponentially. We figure them out and accept them.
And then learn, damn, those limits seem to shift a whole lot, and learn to find and accept them all over again. Accepting our limits overall can be difficult. Accepting daily limits is tricky business because they are an ever moving goal post.
Learn to moderate
I learned this one the hard way. As with all my lessons, it seems. Every time I would push myself too far and then pay the price. Then learning to do less housework at a time each day and spreading it through the week. Learning work days are nothing but work, because my reserves are empty after. Days off are moderately doing things I can paced throughout the day. We pace, we rest and moderate. And thus avoid that boom and bust; of doing too much, increase in pain, can’t do anything, have to recover, then feel a little better so do a lot… and all over again.
Now moderation means moderating every day and every single thing. But health changes on us and things are ever unpredictable.
Manage sleep issues
We all know our sleep issues and disorders affect our health negatively. So we all know we have to address our sleep. And we all know it isn’t easy. Meditation, biofeedback, medications… on and on. For me, this is something I will struggle with all the time. I have medication and I do other things but I was told it is an embedded issue and quite chronic.
Accept this life
Never compare to our past self. Our past self is often seen as better than it likely was for one thing. But we are looking back like if only this never happened. Think of what I could have done and achieved… if not for this. If not for that. We can’t compare ourselves to illness free past self. That person doesn’t exist and you have changed a great deal since then.
But past self could whip through and clean the house in a day. So then I look at the fact I did a load of laundry and swept, and I feel guilty because I Used to be able to do more. We have to accept this life with its current abilities and limitations.
Challenge negative thoughts
Over time it is really easy to get cynical, dark and even depressed about the constant pain. It leads to some pretty repetitive negative thinking. Like ‘If I don’t work then I am a drain on society and worthless‘ but we know we have more intrinsic value than what we do for a living. So we don’t have to be overtly positive but when our thinking is beginning to have an impact on us they we have to help inspect our thoughts to make them more Realistic. Some cognitive behavioural therapy with a therapist can help. It is one way to help maintain our moods which I have discovered is as important as anything else with my coping.
Treat any comorbid mental health issues
If we develop mental illness like anxiety and depression it is important we have it effectively treated. They are always saying need to maintain our mood with chronic pain because it can lag. With mental illness it is a whole area itself that needs to be paid attention to. It is part of our wellbeing.
Don’t stop doing
Sometimes the pain intimidates us from doing things. We know a certain level will cause us pain. So it stops us from going out, from socializing, from exercising and more. But the most important thing about chronic pain is don’t stop doing and living. Always be prepared, but have that social life … in moderation. Go out, just be prepared and stay within your limits. We need to do the things that bring us happiness and joy, as these help us cope. Isolation being a problem of mine right now and it reminds me, don’t stop doing.
And other things, like exercise are often important to treatment. And we learn we cannot let the fear of pain stop of from living our lives. And this reminds me, don’t stop moving.
So I stay within my limits, pace and moderate. I try to maintain a healthy self image. I try to maintain my sleep cycle and my mental health and well-being. And just do not stop doing the things. And honestly, that is a lot. That is a lot.
Chronically Nikki 
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