Workplace burnout with chronic illness

I have not worked for a few years now but I know a about burnout with chronic illness.

When I look up burnout they talk about the causes being things like:

Unrealistic work expectations: unmanageable workload, unrealistic deadlines, and unrealistic time pressure. Employees who are expected to perform consistently for long periods under unrealistic deadlines are more likely to experience burnout
Micromanagement: Employees who feel like they have no control over their environment, tasks, or time are more likely to experience burnout.
Poor Instructions: Unclear instructions can lead to unrealistic work expectations and micromanaging because employers do not clearly explain what they expect of their employees, resulting in multiple iterations of work without an apparent end. Employees have to work hard to figure out what exactly employers expect from them, and this increases feelings of anxiety and exhaustion.
Isolation: Employees benefit from socializing with their peers, and this can lead to feelings of support. Without regular contact with peers, employees may feel like they are alone.
Lack of support and unfair treatment: Employees who feel like their managers do not support them or treat them unfairly are at higher risk of burnout.

A lot of those things come into play with chronic illness and chronic pain when it comes to burn out. Perhaps not right away, but soon enough. Definitely in my case. Because your work environment of your employer and sometimes your fellow peers is affected by your falling into a chronic stress state.

For me, I had unamanged pain which led to depression. And I really wanted to hold onto my full-time career. So fake it till you make it. Put on that Facade and keep on going with a smile and a lot of jokes. No one will know- and they didn’t. But pushing through the pain cannot be sustained. It pushes back. And there is a lot of absenteeism and presenteeism as a result.

Absenteeism in particular is frowned upon by employers and this begins to make your work environment unpleasant in various different ways. Even toxic ways. Leading to ultimatums and conversations that do not go well for either party. But you can’t ‘fix the problem’. I couldn’t. I just tried to push through harder. And I tried to just obliterate the rest of my life- cut out a social life and anything and everything that wasn’t work. Work, home and crash and burn.

Symptoms of burnout

Feeling tired and drained most of the time
Feeling helpless, trapped, defeated, or hopeless about work
Feeling cynical, negative, angry, or irritable
Feeling detached or alone in the world
Having self-doubt or low self-esteem
Having frequent physical problems, such as headaches, muscle pain, gastrointestinal issues, or lowered immunity
Having changes in appetite or sleep habits
Having compassion fatigue or caring less about work or others
Having poor work quality or performance
Having chronic distraction or procrastination at work

I was pretty depressed but the pain was pretty severe. But I remember thinking like my workload just never went away- like it never diminished. There was never a break with a lower load. It was constant. Endless. I never felt like I was good enough even though my performance was fine- the perception based on the way I was treated implied I simply wasn’t enough. The quality of my work never changed but my perception of it certainly did. And the last few years the quality tanked because my self-worth was basically nill by then. I felt pretty hopeless and trapped. I felt I would be unable to find another job in the health state I was in and I was also unable to sustain the job I was in- so i had no idea what I could do.

I had horrible insomnia all the time. Most people with chronic pain do. And then in the morning I started getting upset that I had to go to work in such pain. And a few times, for the first time in my life, I would wake up with panic attacks. My psychologist saying it was my bodies way of responding to the fact of having to work in pain in that environment.

I started losing weight in a weird dramatic fashion my doctor could not explain. In a worrisome way. Just kept dropping the pounds. No one knew why. My co-workers said how great I looked. But, yeah, I didn’t feel great. And the freaky weight loss didn’t stop until it was down to the point where I became quite concerned.

While working I had chronic migraine disease with aura, as I do now. But unlike now, they were every damn day. There wasn’t a day that went by I didn’t have a migraine. I would get sick at work. I bought a bottle of Pepto and put it in my office for that gastrointestinal issues.

I had more than one short term leave of absence. For stress. For a treatment. For migraines. And it really just made my work situation worse. I think my boss despised me, to be honest. I had a long term leave as well and when I came back from that they sent me to a different location. My skills were rusty. I was still depressed. I was tired. Sick. Not ready at all. It didn’t work well.

They bumped me down to a different roll part time. And I think I might have been able to do that. Finally, not pushing so hard. But my health just tanked on me regardless and I had to go on another leave, and long term and then permanent disability. It was the chronic vertigo that tipped the scales.

My job

My job wasn’t the best job for my personality. I can say that. But I was good at it and there were aspects of it I liked a lot. People I enjoyed working with a lot as well. It wasn’t the job itself that was the problem. Although, it wasn’t the best suited for my nature.

It was that working full time with unamanged pain and chronic migraine disease put me in some serious chronic stress. I had a hell of a time managing that. Then I burned out and had to go on a leave of absence. That made my employer see me in a different light and not a good one. I came back and she expected me to be cured and I definitely was not.

Shortly after, maybe six months I burned out again. Same thing. But I kept working though it and then you get in this sort of survival mode. Which is the worst thing you can do to yourself. I ended up on another leave of absence. It did nothing for me. Back at it again. But now I was depressed and pushing through the pain. Trying to make it to my neurologist appointment and hoping he would do something that would Change Something. It wouldn’t happen.

From there is wasn’t really burnout. It was just survival mode. In an increasingly toxic work situation. It takes a while to recover from burnout and I never had that. Let alone getting in a worse mental and physical space. By the time I moved on to work in a different branch I was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. They didn’t get the best of me. They got what was left of me.

Denial

The problem with every since leave of absence was that I thought things would be better. I thought I would be able to just push through and things would be fine. I was always in denial. Every damn time. Even though I was so damn tired all the time. I still thought This time things will be different.

Convincing myself of that led to a lot of pain. When I could have switched jobs. Found myself some low stress part-time job somewhere. But I had it fixed in my mind that to be the responsible member of my family and society I had to do what I had to do.

And it led to disability. I wonder if it would have anyway. But maybe it wouldn’t have. Or not as fast anyway.

Burning out with chronic illness

Is another stressor on top of workplace stressors. If we had an undiagnosed issue causing say fatigue or we had depression these could be factors that were mimicking burnout. Depression can complicate burnout in a lot of ways since it can compound it. But you have to make sure you have no undiagnosed medical conditions that are aggravating symptoms.

When we are sure there are no other factors then we have to understand our chronic illness itself is an aggravating factor all the time, causing immense stress and other workplace issues.

It is worthwhile if we think we are burning out to consider some options:

Compromises to work hours in some way that works for us
Going to therapy
Relying on our support system
Asserting your needs in the workplace- whether that is time and space at lunch. Or flexible hours. Or to start later and work later/start earlier and leave earlier. Or work from home. Or accommodations in your environment.
Have more self-compassion and how to give yourself the self-care that your need for more well-being
Monitor your stress levels during the day
Start writing a journal- it is one way to track your stress levels and what is causing the majority of your stress. Try a gratitude journal as well, because that can also help focus on the positive aspects of your day
Try different stress management strategies- You likely have tried some and do the ones that work for you whether that is box breathing or self-hypnosis or biofeedback or bilateral beats
Set boundaries at work to maintain work-life balance. Easier said than done often
Practice good sleep hygiene- sleep is essential. But we all know that. With chronic illnesses sleep can be extremely complex. It can be important to discus this with your doctor and/or therapist
Do the things that make you happy outside of work- again for that work-life balance
See your doctor about any treatment changes that can be done. I need to mention this one because sometimes treatments stall out on us and we begin to lag and need a change. Things no longer work. And we always need to check in to make sure nothing else has cropped up or gotten worse. The usual.
A medication check- sometimes our medication itself can be causing excessive fatigue and issues we need to look at and adjust

Cleveland Clinic

It can take months to a year to recover from burnout. And I wonder if it is longer since I heard research that it can be. And with chronic illnesses that can in fact get worse with these conditions I think it might. I think we should avoid it but I think we are under a harsher risk for it as well. We are far used to pushing through, without any substantial changes. We just think we should fake it till we make it. And don’t make a fuss. And if we push through it will be better on the other side, but there is no other side. So we really have to be careful and gentle with ourselves.

It is a serious societal problem for everyone. It is just that we are at higher risk for it and I think we recover at a slower rate. And I say that because after I went on disability it took so long before everything calmed down although nothing went back to the state prior to my last burnout, because I had gotten so much physically worse at that time. But prior ones, a short term leave never quite cut it and I’d come back mentally feeling like I could get back at it (Or Should) and physically still feeling just drained. Chronic stress can cause a lot of problems other than burnout. So recovery can be slow with chronic illnesses.

Workplace burnout with chronic illness

When I look up burnout they talk about the causes being things like: