The Lies Chronic Pain Tells Us

September is Pain Awareness Month. Let’s start off with some of the lies of chronic pain that we think and feel. That whisper to us in the dark of the night. And scream at us when we are in high pain. Truly they can torment us. And the way it is, is that chronic pain makes us have a reaction and that reaction creates thoughts.

You are a waste of space:

It will tell you that you’re functionally useless to society. That you’re capable of nothing and, therefore, useless. Society endorses this quite often so it’s a pretty easy one to believe. Because Society is a Dick. Sorry, Society, but it is true. It seems to think that disabled means lesser and that healthy people stay healthy forever. In other words, society is rather stupid. So why do we even listen to that crap?

It’s not true. This ‘functionally useless to society’ has a lot to do with when we are incapable of working or incapable of doing the career we had. We feel like we are now useless to our families financially. Or being productive members of society. Again society dictates the rules.

We are worth so much more than what we do for a living. We have more use to society than our career or working. We are loved for more than that. We are complex people with many things that make us valuable and interesting. We often identify heavily with what we Do for work. But, man, do you want that to define who you are? The Whole of Who you Are? It is what you do. Or did, as the case may be.

I’m way more than any job I have ever had. Sure, I rocked those jobs. I had skills. However, no one ever looked at me and thought, hey, her defining quality is Banker. Nope. Or I hope not because that would be rather dull. We simply have to find ways to fill the void in our lives so that We feel we have value after the loss of work. That is what counts.

There is no hope. This pain is endless.

There is always hope. I think of this with the CGRP blocking treatments for migraines, that is a new hope that was never there a decade ago. What new things will we see for Fibromyalgia or Lupus or other conditions in time? We simply do not know. We can’t know.

Nor can we know what new things we will learn that will work for us. Knew alternative treatments, management devices and all sorts of things we add to our repertoire that help just a little bit more.

Also, this is totally a sneaky High Pain lie our brain tells us. Pain, as we know, is variable. It ebbs and flows. It has lows and peaks. Not every day is screaming agony. Not every day is a torment of having your fingernails ripped off. Some days are what I call tolerable pain or functional pain or I have learned to deal with it pain or Baseline pain. And I cope fine there.

It isn’t Endless because as far as I’m aware, I’m not immortal- yet. When my robot body comes in and I transplant my mind into it- then, yes, I will be immortal and also pain free– but until then pain is Not endless. It’s indefinite. We don’t know how long bad stretches will last. True. We have to just get through them. Any way we can. But there is always the potential of hope.

You are weak

It only feels like a weakness because we struggle. Really we are strong to deal with what we deal with and still manage to live our lives. It is not something others have to deal with.

If struggling and enduring creates strength then we are like Atlas holding up the entire world we are so strong. But we have bad days. And on those days we can’t do anything. Then our stupid brain goes ‘we are so weak and sucky’ ignoring the fact on the days when the pain is at its very worse we need the most strength to get through. We need every damn drop of strength we have. Weak? Bullshit.

Treatment always fails. You should give up

Sometimes it seems nothing will ever work. But we shouldn’t give up. When we are exhausted by this we can take a break from treatments for a bit until we get that drive to push on again. I have done this before and it works well. Just give yourself time to get out of that funk and get the drive to find progress again. Because treatments do not always fail and to find them we must try them.

I get it. I have gone through so many migraine treatments they simply said I do not respond to medication. Which made me rather morose, as you can imagine. And I then had to try other means to manage my pain.

Treatment is medication, yes, but it is loads of other things too. If you give up you will never learn the loads of other things that help you in particular. Or that new medication that came out that Hot Damn you Do respond to.

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You are worthless. You can’t do any of the same things anymore

It’s true you can’t do the same things anymore. You can do different things and in different ways. It is a different life. Not the one you had. Not the one you Could have had. This life.

And it doesn’t make you worthless to be in chronic pain and have limitations. I don’t know why we think limitations make us weak or useless or unworthy. They just mean we have a certain way of doing things that work for our well-being while normal people burn out because they don’t even think about their well-being.

Society (being dickish, as it is) doesn’t want people to think about their well-being. It wants them to work hard and then harder and forget that they need a life in there somewhere. We, on the other hand, are forced to realize well-being matters a crapton. And we can do tons of things within those limits. I wouldn’t recommend climbing Mount Everest or anything but other than that many things are possible with pacing in mind.

People don’t get how much pain you are in. You are alone

People don’t truly get it until they ‘get it’ that’s true. But so what? We don’t need the validation of everyone around us so they really Get it. Because they can’t. They can’t relate. They have compassion and empathy and sympathy, but they can’t Get It. There are not even words enough in the world for them to truly grasp the chronic pain experience. And that is fine. It is the same for us and experiences we cannot relate to.

But you’re never alone. There are support groups of people who truly do get it. There is your family who may not comprehend the pain but hate to see you suffer and love you, want the best for you and will fight it with you. There are friends who may not know what to say all the time but will be there for you, the good friends. You’re not alone with a support network. That support can be from one awesome person if need be.

You should give up. The pain is too much to handle forever. Just end it

Suicidal ideation is common in chronic pain. Intent though is something that when it happens when you feel Intent, you call 911 immediately because you are in danger. The pain tells us this in high pain when we are Most Vulnerable to it. But it lies because the pain isn’t that intense all the time. It is variable. We have bad days, yes. But we have good pain days in there as well.

We can be at high risk in high pain, especially when it persists. Be cognizant of this and call the 911 (988 Talk Suicide Canada)(Hotlines) if you need it. Go straight to the ER if you are in self danger. Call a friend. This one is a risk factor and take it very seriously. Pain alone is a risk factor even without depression but then even more so with depression. Pay attention to it. And take it very seriously.

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reprint from brainlessblogger.net

I ran into chronic illness burnout